Well….I don’t want to alarm anybody by blogging twice in one day, instead of my usual once every two weeks….but some things are too good to wait. Like this:
I got an answer back from my old friend ***Mabel. (***Not even remotely her real name.) I was braced for a slew of ugly words, or else just silence.
Instead I got an apology. A real, sincere, I’m-sorry-I-let-you-down, I’ve-thought-about-what-you-experienced letter, with some explanations, at long last, for how a wonderful friendship ended seemingly overnight. Those details aren’t mine to share; suffice it to say we all wrestle with demons, and in my twenties, it seemed like that wrestling match happened daily; and I wasn’t the only one.
Speaking my mind is something I have to work at, particularly when it comes to conflict (when it comes to pizza, or dogs, or how to prune a shrub, I can do it pretty well). It took me almost two weeks to formulate my thoughts to write the email I quoted in the last blog, and my hands were shaking when I sent it.
And the email I got in return was a beautiful reminder of how not just good, not just great, but actually IMPORTANT it is for us to open our mouths and say what we need to say. Because if I hadn’t, if I’d just clicked ‘ignore,’ this friendship that used to mean a lot to me would have remained nothing but a sad memory. I don’t say that now ***Mabel and I are going to braid each other’s hair and sing campfire songs (then again, we might), but just to have some peace and resolution and affection in place of hurt and sadness is winning the lottery, in my book.
all my love,